By: Lauren Mickler, Certified Nutritional Health Coach
The Cheat Meal.
In the world of fitness and dieting those three little words pack a punch. For many, the greatly anticipated cheat meal might just be the highlight of the week. It’s the one time you don’t have worry about what you are putting in your mouth, the one meal that you can indulge in all the little sinful food desires that you’ve fantasized about all week. For some, it’s a reward, the dangling carrot that makes all the other healthy choices worth it. For others, it’s a lifeline, the one extravagant, flavorful island in a desert of unseasoned broccoli and baked chicken breasts.
Whatever the case may be, the cheat meal is always a hit. You get permission to break the rules, to be bad, and not worry about the consequences. After all, one meal can’t hurt you, right?
After years of working as a nutrition consultant and health coach, I have come to the conclusion that it’s time we dispel with the cheat meal mindset. No, don’t stop reading. I didn’t say that we have to dispel with the meal altogether. But I think it’s high time we change our mindset surrounding it. Let me explain.
What is the definition of cheating? The dictionary defines it: “To act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage. To avoid (something undesirable) by luck or skill.”
Cheating involves breaking the rules. Sneaking. Hiding. Beating the system. Doing something you know you shouldn’t and skipping out on the consequences.
Sure it might just sound like semantics, but I think this mindset is deeply engrained in many people. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a client say, “Oh I’m not even going to tell you what I ate last night. I was terrible.”. Or how many times I’ve come into the gym on a Monday morning and heard someone talking about, “how bad they were last night”. It sounds like a confession.
And then comes talk about how it’s time to get back on track. Pay for your sins. Return to the straight and narrow path. “I’m going to be good starting Monday.” The cheat meal has become something negative. It promotes the idea that you’ve been bad. It gives you permission to go crazy and be wild and rebellious as long as you drag yourself back to reality and go back to being good after your allotted meal or day, whatever the case may be. When people talk about having a cheat meal, there is an element of regret to it. Of shame. Of naughtiness, like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
Do you see what I’m getting at here?
Okay, neat point, Lauren. But isn’t this just a matter of wording?
I don’t think so. And here’s why:
Cheat Meals Promote Overindulgence:
The idea of being bad, of cheating and getting away with it, of finally having all the things you want without regrets, always promotes overindulgence. It’s like the kid who stares mournfully through the window of a candy shop. He is only permitted to go into the candy shop once a week for an hour and eat whatever he wants. After that, no more candy until next week. Do you think he is going to take just one piece when he gets the chance? You and I both know how the story ends.
Cheat Meals Can be the Beginning of a Slippery Slope
Because of the negative mindset surrounding the cheat meal, it can easily open the door for a whole series of poor choices. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I figured I’d already been bad on Friday, and what’s done is done. There was no point in trying to get back on track on Saturday. I just told myself I’ll be good on Monday.” When you place someone in the mindset of “being bad” and you permit indulgence, it will never bring forth anyone’s best self. It promotes poor choices, which often times just leads to more poor choices.
The “Cheat Meal” Reinforces a Dieting Mindset
I tell my clients up front that I will never use the word diet while we work together. I talk about living a healthy lifestyle, I talk about having a nutrition plan. But never a diet. Why? Dieting promotes the idea that you are deviating from a normal way of eating for a particular amount of time in order to achieve a desired result. Subconsciously, you are reinforcing the idea that eventually, when you reach your goal, you will return to “eating normal”. This is why so many people lose weight just to gain it all back. They didn’t change their mindset or their lifestyle. They didn’t create new favorite dishes and retrain the body to crave new foods. They just held their breath and white-knuckled their way through many miserable weeks until they saw a certain number on the scale. In this case, the cheat meal just serves as something of a reminder of what it feels like to eat “normal” again. It’s the meal that many actually look forward to eating. It is the lungful of air before holding their breath for another dreaded week of dieting. In this case, the cheat meal serves as something to look forward to eating, making it seem unnecessary to spend the time making healthy food delicious. “I’ll be fine just eating my chicken and broccoli. As long as I get a treat meal on the weekend, I’ll be okay.”
This is counterproductive. You want to force yourself to take the time to develop healthy foods and flavors that you will look forward to eating all the time. Sure, you’ll still have a rich meal every once in a while. But it should never feel like a lifeline in an ocean of food you hate.
So what is the answer? Never enjoy a decadent meal?
Absolutely not! We’re human. It’s in our nature to gather and celebrate with flavorful food. The gift of taste is one of the great joys in life. So, I propose, replacing the cheat meal with a treat meal.
Here are the rules I tell my clients concerning treat meals (the last one is the most important so read all the way through):
1. Predetermine when you’ll have your treat meal 24 hours in advance.
Treat meals should be something that you do very intentionally and without guilt (more on that in a minute). It’s not a “get out of jail free card” that you use when someone brings Tex-Mex catering to your workplace and your willpower runs low. This is a meal that you should eat out of thoughtful consideration and absolute intentionality. The intentional choices we make, even if it is a choice to enjoy a more decadent meal, are always better than an un-intentional, spur-of-the-
2. Serve yourself, sit down, and then eat just one plate of food
Don’t eat out of wrappers, take-out containers, or tubs. Don’t eat multiple plates of food. Serve yourself a reasonable, moderate portion on a plate, eat it, and then be done. A treat meal is not an extended six-hour ordeal. It’s one meal.
3. Drink lots of water beforehand.
You may be having more carbs, sodium, and fat than you normally do. Go in hydrated.
4. Don’t starve yourself in preparation.
Often times, people think that it will be beneficial to starve themselves before enjoying a treat meal. It’s not. When you are extremely hungry, you’re more likely to overindulge.
5. Don’t drink a lot of alcohol.
It doesn’t hurt to have a glass of wine or small cocktail every now and then, but overindulging in alcohol is far worse than eating one too many chips. There are many reasons for this scientifically, but I’ll let you research it yourself. Drinking too much, even if it’s just once a week can significantly inhibit your progress towards health goals.
6. Enjoy your treat meal in the presence of positive company and without guilt.
A treat meal is meant to be savored and enjoyed – without guilt. Remember, you aren’t cheating, you aren’t breaking the rules. You are nourishing your mind and body with the pleasurable experience of partaking in decadent food. So enjoy it. Sit in the company of close friends and talk, laugh, drink, and eat. Chew slowly, savor the flavors, breath calmly, and be in the moment. Even if the foods you are eating are not something that would beneficial to eat on a daily basis, your mind and spirit will be uplifted by the entire experience. A treat meal is not wolfing down multiple pieces of pizza out of a takeout box or eating a tub of ice cream in front of the television until you’re too full to move. It’s not sitting in your car, alone, inhaling a fast-food order. It’s not standing in front of the refrigerator and downing leftovers because you know your “cheat meal time is almost up”. Be intentional about every bite that goes in your mouth. Enjoy it. Choosing to have a decadent meal every once in a while is good for the soul, but it should be enjoyed on occasion, not every day. So learn to fill your days up with healthy foods that you look forward to eating.
And you might just find that you don’t even need that treat meal all that often.
For more information about Health Coaching, check out my website here.