By: Coach Joshua Jericho Littauer
Regardless of who you are and what you are doing in life you are going to run into things that are difficult. Difficulty, trials, struggle, whatever you want to call it; these things are not optional. They are circumstances, situations, and external forces of life that are outside our control and often throw us for a loop.
For example; everything is going great at work, you just received a promotion, and business is seamingly going well. One week you show up to the office and there is a new manager sitting at your bosses old desk, he has been replaced, and with him his whole management staff. Didn’t see that one coming. This example may vary by degree but not by kind. You never know when life is going to throw a curveball.
The moral is however, that it is not the difficulty that determines the outcome. It is how you handle it. I was told several times in different scenarios “Life is 10% circumstance, and 90% how you react to it.” This has been true for me on several fronts.
I’ll give one of my favorite examples. When I was a freshman in high school I decided I was going to try wrestling for the first time. Wrestling was a sport I had seen in years prior as I had several cousins who had done it and it always intrigued me. So as a freshman, weighing a massive 145 pounds, I went out for the team.
I can clearly remember the first few days of practice as I was trying to figure out how the team operated and where I was going to fit in. One of the events of the first few days was a goal setting session as a team where each member filled out both individual and team goals. Not knowing much better, I wrote a personal goal of qualifying for the state tournament. My coach laughed at me. Still remember it now, because his laugh was not one of jest at my ignorance, as much as it was a forewarning of the challenges ahead.
Coach was right. Working as hard as I possibly could I mustered a solid record my freshman year of 1-18 (the one win being a forfeit). Solid start. I literally got my butt kicked and face beat in daily. The scene from Rocky where comes home and puts a slab of cold meat on his face was a reality for me every evening. And as embarrassed as I should have been, I couldn’t help but fall in love with the sport. Something about losing everyday just brings out the best in you.
Eventually everything evened out and over the years I slowly got better and began winning matches, including accomplishing the goal I had set out to do my freshman year.
But here is the point. The things that I learned from losing and getting beat on a daily basis, set me up for a growth mindset as a young adult. The fact that in a very practical way I was knocked down, drug out, and somehow managed to resonate with how life actually works. Life is hard, and it throws you curveballs. But it is not the circumstance that knocked you down that proves the outcome, it is how you react and handle it.
This is coming across a little more motivational than I typically do, so what’s practical for when you fail or things are tough?
- Remember failure is not fatal nor final. Winston Churchill said that, and he’s right. Failing is only refusing to get back up and stay in the fight.
- Grit is not taught, it’s caught. A friend of mine told me that the other day. Years of training Rangers in the Army showed him that no matter how much you teach or tell someone about having grit or an indomitable will you cannot grow that in someone else. Grit is caught by the person who keeps their head on straight when things go awry.
- 10% situation, 90% your reaction. This one has helped me through a variety of difficulty. When you feel something is out of your control or is not how you want it to be remember that it all comes down to perspective. How you perceive that situation and react will dictate the outcome.
As mentioned in previous articles, this is a year to take action and changes. Inevitably you will fail at something, but that failure is not final. You make the choice. How will you respond to what life throws at you?
As always: Stay Humble. Stay Hungry.